Second Crusader Challenge and Sundry Items

Favourite song of the moment:





Rach has posted the Second Crusader Challenge:

"Write a flash fiction story (in any format) in 100 words or less, excluding the title. Begin the story with the words, "The goldfish bowl teetered" These four words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional, and not part of the judging criteria), see if you can write the story in your own genre (eg if you're a horror writer, write a horror story; a romance writer, a romance story, etc)."

I can't usually work on more than one project at a time. So, since my brain is currently filled with Out of the Water, my historical romance set in 1492, and I was looking for a way to bring an animal on board (!), I'm going to do the challenge from main character Rosa's point of view. Here, in 99 words, are Rosa and Baha, sharing a stolen moment on board ship...

The goldfish bowl teetered as a sudden heave of the ship tossed her backward. Baha's hand shot out, fingers covering hers as he resettled the bowl on her knees. Her fish didn't seem hurt, placidly swimming from side to side.

Baha twined his fingers in her hair, trailing kisses along her temple. She lifted her chin, seeking his lips with hers, and he tightened his hold on her across the bowl.

Back the ship canted, and water sloshed onto their arms.

He rose to his feet. "I'm sorry, Senorita, to have led you this far. It won't happen again."
Does the above count toward my Round of Words in 80 Days goals? It did involve some editing to bring the word count down... I did actually do a lot of editing yesterday, and am on page 105 of 194. There's no way I'll finish editing before the end of the challenge, however, especially not with all the overtime I'll be doing at work this week. When oh when will the story be ready for betas?

By summertime, I hope...

In other news:

My review of Melissa Bradley's Byzantine Provocateur is up!

Theresa's having an awesome 500 followers contest!

The Paris Review features a free short story by Marilynne Robinson!

Comments

CMStewart said…
Yes, the above words count to your goals. ;) "Baha"- I like that name! Great integration, too.
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it [g]
A romance on a ship. That's a different spin on the teetering goldfish.

Thank you for the shout out, Deniz!
Very different, well done!
Liz Fichera said…
Ah, the tension! And what an interesting year, 1492...Very intrigued!
Lydia K said…
That was a great entry! I liked the ship scenario a lot.
:)
Romance across a fish bowl. Lovely! Thanks for sharing and I think all words count toward a word goal. :)
alberta ross said…
The surname of the Storyteller in my secoond book is Baha!

Like the goldfish - I cannot think what to write!

See you in the next round

keep smiling
J.L. Campbell said…
Cool that you incorporated the flash fiction story in your current work.
Cherie Reich said…
Great idea incorporating your own characters into it. :)
Carol Riggs said…
Nice to make this set on a ship, and from the viewpoint of your own characters! :) Good job.
Talli Roland said…
It counts, it counts!

Enjoyed it, Deniz!
This was different. I liked it. Well done.

Nikki
Ben Langhinrchs said…
Ah, you've gotta let them kiss. You can't just leave us hanging like that.
Sierra Gardner said…
So what does the goldfish think about all this kissing? =)
Margo Benson said…
All counts! This is lovely,so romantic and I'm still really caring for the fish!
Nas Dean said…
Hi Deniz,

Great. The fish bowl in a historical. Is it a glass bowl? And you left us hanging!
Summer Ross said…
I like how you put the bowl between them- well done
Trisha said…
Lovely entry :) Good job!
Cally J said…
Ooh everyone loves a romance around a fishbowl. Hehe...
Fun! Fun! Fun! I'm dying to know more! Agg, I totally missed this challenge. I've been a very bad (but busy in a good way) blogger...
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks Theresa! My characters have been on a ship so long, I'm starting to feel the bobbing waves all day [g]

Thank you Carole Anne!

Thanks Liz! I do have a cameo by a certain Admiral at the start of the book...

Thank you Lydia!

I'm glad you liked it, Charity [g]

Ooh, Alberta, really? Where'd you get the name Baha from? I took my grandfather's name.

Thanks J.L., Cherie and Carol! I just can't stray too far from my characters.

I'm glad you liked it Talli and Nikki!

Actually, Ben... I tweaked the scene a little for the challenge. The scene in the novel definitely has a kiss - same ending though.

Ha ha, Sierra! Poor goldfish! I think he's just hungry...

Thanks so much Margo, Nas, Summer, Trisha and Cally. Ooh, research! i wonder if it is a glass bowl or not, in 1492...

I wouldn't worry, Samantha - I missed a whole lot of blogfests last week and am doing lots of overtime at work, so will probably miss a few more until spring. Thanks for dropping by!
Susan Fields said…
Great Challenge entry! I've been on spring break for a while, so I didn't even know about the challenge until tonight - looks like I'll have to get busy!
Amanda Milner said…
Very nice! And cool idea incorporating your characters into this flash fiction piece.
I have a historical WIP that has some time on a ship and I always wonder if it was hard to make out when you reek of fish & likely haven't bathed or brushed your teeth in quite awhile. Lol! I finally decided i would hollywood my characters and make them have good hygiene and fresh breath. ;)
Angela Scott said…
Way to include your characters. Very smart. And, fishbowls and boats are totally romantic for sure :)

Very nice.

~Angela
alberta ross said…
Most of the names I use in my stories have meanings to them and I found Baha when looking for an unusual name for 'beautiful' it also means magnificant and brilliant - so what better for a plain, bad tempered, scared girl?!!!
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks Susan! Looking forward to seeing yours.

I know how you feel Amanda! I throq in a few random references to washing because my character's a girly girl and doesn't like to have gritty, muddy hands [g] For the most part, though, they happen to be privileged passengers on a merchant ship, so are cleaner at least than the captain and sailors!

Thank you so much Angela!

I like your use of opposites Alberta [g] I think my Rosa thinks her Baha is a magnificent man [vbg]
Tara said…
Hehe, I'm thinking that bowl's going to need a lid. [g]
Deniz Bevan said…
Don't tempt me into writing *that* scene, Tara! I've got a few of those...
Nicely done! And it's exciting to have an exercise that works so well with your WiP!
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks Nicole! I just can't get away from my characters.
Happily Cheesy said…
Ah romance... *sigh* Nice piece.
Deniz Bevan said…
Aww, thanks! That's how romance make me feel too [g]
Michael Offutt said…
Interesting entry to the flash fiction second crusade challenge. I like how you placed the main character at sea in her own bowl so to speak.
Deniz Bevan said…
Oh, thanks Michael! It's true, she is sort of caught... and does feel that a lot of eyes are on her. Maybe I will keep this goldfish in the story after all!
Donea Lee said…
I like the romance angle. SO much happier than mine, even if it's only a stolen moment. :)
Deniz Bevan said…
Aww, thank you Donea! I'm finding that I'm not much when it comes to danger and disturbance - I like my characters to be happy [g] and have to force myself to put them into trouble once in a while...
Alison Stevens said…
Great entry! I'm left wondering why she had a goldfish bowl balanced on her knees on a ship. :)
J.C. Martin said…
Cool, I like how you submitted the entry as an excerpt from your work! Now I'm wondering why she has a goldfish in a ship...
Deniz Bevan said…
Thanks Alison and J.C.!
Well... do you want the truth? In the original scene she has a painting balanced on her lap. It became a fish bowl in flash fiction [g]
L'Aussie said…
Hi Deniz. Great story and I liked the way you used your current WIP for inspiration. Well done.

Denise<3
I love the tension in this piece! very well done!
Jeanne said…
I too liked the historical aspect and I don't know why but I heard his voice in my head as he apologized to her. Very cool! Want to read more.
I have to say you have me intrigued. Hope the editing goes well!
Alison Miller said…
I love this - I feel like I've walked in on a piece of your novel and now I really want to know the rest! Great job!
Bess Weatherby said…
I love the name Baha. This is great. I like the romantic take, and that you stayed in genre. Great job!
Deniz Bevan said…
Thank you so much, Denise, Sylvia, Jeanne, Jessica/Witless, Alison and Bess! I took a day off blogging yesterday and it's so lovely and heartening to come back and find your kind words on here.
Callie Leuck said…
Hello. I'm helping Rachael Harrie judge this contest. I'm posting to let you know that your entry has been shortlisted as one of the top 5 in the judging round. Great job!
Deniz Bevan said…
What a lovely surprise! Thanks Callie.

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